Viaje De Mi Vida

The first event of the pupurions for this year; Politechnic trip on 26 january 2009, on the CNY. The trip initially planned between me and nacoe,later invite nad and pyah then nasrul and sal. Among all, only muz,nacoe,nad,sal and alin succeeded sat on the BKE that day.

The day prior,we did our preparation on that trip,having nasi lemak as our “bekal” as there is :pantai” there,so excited that we can swim at “pantai”( we presumed). The taman melati’s cooked nasi lemak whilst wangsa maju’s cooked “sambal(udang & bilis).

On the day everything went well, departure at 1030 a.m (approx) and as what has been told it only took 1 hour(nacoe,2009). As for real, it took about 2hours to reach Politechnic Sultan Idris. At the gate, sal using her charm to get in the campus,hmm…very the charming ye sal (fyi pak guards are all ‘abangs” and young).We did some walkthrough, a bit teased here and there about language been used which is malay ngeeeeeeee.

Huuuuuu..really thirsty and no shop was opened that day,jus “mesin peruncitan otomatik”. Using all the “syiling” to buy some drinks but still thirst and hungry. Luckily there was  :asrama” cafe was opened. Went there,bought some drinks and straight to the “pantai”. So suprised when we spotted one “unicorn” and “zebra” along the beach,hmm..so unique????
The “pantai” that suppose for us to swim was all “kukup” arghhhhhhhh..(so xmandi la huhu) just having picnic there with the wind “puput” coming from sea ngeeeeee..nyam2.After picnic we went back but still want to “mandi”(so hot and i’m wetty). Our plan,ulu yam and kancing. Time went by,can’t make it to ulu yam then kancing(hujan) huhu..but our spirit to “lepak at “sungai” still firing.

Last resort, we went to river deep back the zoo negara. Nacoe having the hardest  to drive,the most challenging road with least experience driver. At last,arrived at one “pot”, unfortunately still cannot “mandi”,so disappointed huhu..Having picture there then went back home.

Eventhough no”mandi” for us, we all having so much fun having to spend time together. Laughing and “kutuking” make it so much fun. Nevertheless, we plan on the second trip to redemm our “mandi” before nacoe leave us huhuhu…

The premier event of last year was the day of my first job in Cagamas. Historically, being employed by cagamas was not the option that I looked for. Having to work there was the life twist on me.

I received the call from cagamas asking me to go for interview on Thursday 14February2008. After hang up the phone, I just sat awhile then start thinking,”when the heck I applied for the post? What is cagamas?”Then I remembered it was lutfi amri who clicked on my behalf for that post through jobstreet. Thanks to him I got this job, thanks Upi! This was my first formal interview since I graduated December 2007. Having not much experience, I gambled myself and went to the interview. As I expected, the interview was suck, so bad that I felt down after the interview. Feel the intimidation of more experience candidates on that day; I pessimistically say I will not get that job. It’s ok I don’t want it anyway.

The next day on 9 am, my handphone rang, my boss (no yet that time) called offered me the job. I was so surprised because the interview was suck and even my boss agreed with that. I surprisingly declined the offer, look stupid is it?? I declined because I want to pursue Islamic banking instead working with Cagamas which is mix between Islamic and conventional, that my interest. Then my boss sort of persuaded me to accept it and he offered me to maintain full set of Islamic account in Cagamas (which is not supposed to be my job description offered). Furthermore, he offered me to continue my study. These really caught my interest, then without hesitation I accept it. I accepted to attend the second interview. This second interview was meant for HR to determine whether I suited for the job on the human resource perspective. The Second interview was 1 vs. 1 interview which I have to fight with another one candidate. My boss said the HR will call you within two weeks, if no call means you are not selected. So, I’ve waited for almost 2 weeks and I felt that I’ve been rejected so I went to another interview with Perodua which was the 2days before the 2 weeks time elapsed.

Then on that day (interview of Perodua) somebody from Cagamas called me and asking to accept the job. I wondered where is second interview? Then I notified that the other candidate withdrawn himself. So lucky me. Upon the acceptance of the job, I needed to do my medical check up on the next day. Come to my surprise, the medical check up showed the suspicion in my tiroid hormone, so I needed to further check up on that. The issue of the tiroid has hit me so much as I never expected to have this issue in the first place as I believe I practice healthy lifestyle. At this moment Cagamas has doubted to employ me. I felt down awhile, I’m grateful as all my friends supported me especially nasrul who companied me to the hospital and gave his full support on everything. Thanks pal! The further check up showed that it was false alarm and I don’t have the issue of the tiroid. Alhamdulilah. Finally I’ve got the job and now still on the job.

I expressed my gratitude to Allah, my family and my friends who has supported me from the beginning of the process until the end. The rezeki is on the hand of the Allah, if you are destined to work there you will, we human just plan but Allah is the one who make it happen or not.

Hurmmmm… Some of my friends wonder what the meaning of puput is. Finally I willingly to uncover the meaning of puput huhu…I don’t know whether the word puput is exist in the Dewan Bahasa and Pustaka dictionary. All I know is I like to use the word puput haha..

Historically, I first use the word puput during my practical training at MAS. It is the word to express my disagreement or angry towards something instead of using bad words such as you know what. The first person heard of the puput is nasrul.

In Kedah colloquial, puput means something light blows by the wind. Well, that what Kedah define it. As for me, Initially I define it as word to express something of bad.

As time goes by, the definition evolved. Once it use to express the discontentment, then its definition has been define as the tone of pronouncing it, if it harsh it means bad and vice versa. It goes by for awhile, when the word puput has been used extensively by all my inner circle. Later the meaning of puput has been further defined as a person who is bad in relationship. It includes the person who is emotionless, backstabber, exploiting people and all the bad attitude which relate to a person who bad in a relationship (friendship).

Now the usage of puput has been widely used and evolved. Some definition and evolution of word puput :-

Puput (n) = expressing something bad

= People who bad in relationship (friendship)

Pupunemia= world of people living with/in puput

Puputsuction= Expression of puput

Puput man= Man who create puput

Puputopia= world of puput

Pureeput= Excrete

Peeput= Pee

Munput= Vomit

Pussput= Fart

MerepuputReport (merepot)

All the things in this world experience changes throughout their life. Some accept changes with open heart and some resist to change. Accepting or resisting is depend whether the change is on the positive or negative side. Peolple change,from negative to positive or from positive to negative. How people reflect to the changes depends on the degree of their analysis on that particular change. As in my view, i once experiencing the changes of something from positive to negative. Hard to accept especially in the relationship. How can someone accept something from good to bad? Nobody does! This is something that people should resist to change but we cannot accept the reality that this situation does happen.

Let put this in story,

Once, Anna was so great in handling and mingling with people,talking nicely,sweet smile,caring and attentive to others. Any changes in the environment trigger Anna to put herself in the position of understanding. You see the sick of yourselves comfort by Anna, asking so much why and how and don’t. The promises that Anna put has changed someone who don’t believe in her  to trust her so much. Falling down the edge of loneliness to the sweet hiking through the deep forest, Bianca has fallen on her trustworthiness. Having to trust people back,Bianca hope this could change her life to be someone better in relationship and not being backstab once again. Trust increasing day by day as Anna so positive in their relationship. Engrossed so much in this relationship,Bianca hasn’t notice what has been planned by Anna for her. Once again Bianca been backstab by her own trusted friend. For this while Bianca has been exploited by her best friend without her awareness. Anna has CHANGED. Anna is no longer the person Bianca use to know before, she misses the Yesterday, where nothing is name obstacle could come closer. But again no turning back for her. She wishes that this friendship never happened in the first place. She Frustrated with Anna,but having no such intention of terminating their relationship, she succumb to the feeling of unhappiness. Bianca’s ignorant of the situation has taught her to move on and be optimis and positive all the time. But the journey to accept the feeling of ever trusting people bother her so much. Getting up from bed never be the same again, going to bed early just not to think too much of it, eating has been the routine,going to work just to let go the problem, mingling with friend just to make herself happy again. “Time to move on Bianca”!!that the phrase that she put in her head ever since but couldn’t execute it because of her kindness and loyalty. Again, life need to be fill with something. Till then, she kept for herself for her life untill time heal herself,that what she believe. To revenge someone, be nice to that person, Bianca hold that….. “ you’re nobody in others life but you’re always somebody in your life”

From the story, it so obvious people change just to please other people,being so nice once then being their original state once again. Why should friendship been treated like that?It is so unfair when only one side feel hurt and vulnerable.  So unfair!!!!. For Bianca, she always want Yesterday, the sweet day being as a friend and herself. She always keep hoping and praying that Anna will change someday to her original when they first met despites feeling hurt and slash by Anna. Just believe….

Having best friend is the most amazing thing that could happen to human being. The need of friend is consider as norm of living in this created universe. But do we realize to describe a friend as a best friend is not easy as ABC. Most of human being can have thousand of friends but to have a best friend is hard. Why these phenomenons happen? Should human created to treat people equally or vice versa? This question should be answer by us, the created creature. Human need human, animal need animal and plant need plant, this is why the needs of friend is emphasize in life. But why need best friend despites of having friends and it is already enough to just have friend if we just emphasize ‘human need human’. The cruelty of world creates the so-called bias of having best friend. Personally I consider best friend as alternative family members, someone who we can share our thoughts, personals, anger, happiness, sorrow and etc.

Consider this story, Russell is a normal married guy who lives a decent life in the suburban, having good job and lots of friends and luckily he has one best friend name James. They both take care of each other so much (as a friend) and there is nothing that can keep them apart. Being a best friend since primary school has tightened their relationship until now. Besides having their own family to take care of, their relationship still at their own best. Lots of thoughts have been exchanged, lots of anger has been expressed, lots of sorrow has been shared and lots of tear has been shed off. Together they stand still in the name of best friend. The moment that we cherish could never last longer, there is no such thing as eternity in this world. James, a healthy loving husband has kept the secret of having chronic disease. James needs a donor for his dysfunctional heart. Russell’s ignorant of the matter has put him in the critical situation when James suddenly fainted in front of him. Fortunately he managed to send him to hospital and he was in critical situation. The truth has been revealed that has been kept for such a long time away from his concern. He then decided to donate half of his heart to him. Their blood matched and the operation happened smoothly. The grateful face of James towards Russell expressed when their operation was successful.  Unfortunately, the event doesn’t last longer when suddenly James got complication upon accepting new heart. The rejection of the heart has torn the life friendship between James and Russell. James died the day later.

This story might sound cliché but what I want to convey here are the feeling of true best friend and the co-feeling towards it. Their livelihood friendship has created the sense of belonging to each other. When the same gender be best friend, the sense of belonging would be greater (my opinion), the sense of love would never arouse and that is the most important in relationship. Nevertheless, what are the most important moral values are the sense of sincerity and scarification towards each other. Last message that this story portray is the sense of eternity. Whatever relationship in this world won’t last eternity, but it stays in their heart forever.  

If I were to choose, having both gender as best friend is the best because man and women are created differently and compliment to each other. But sometimes, having women as a best friend could mislead the intention of having best friend. Without our concern, the feeling of caring as friend could change to feel caring as a lover. This type of relationship has bumped out of the boundary of best friend. In any relationship, sincerity is the most important thing that should be embraced constantly. Having such a feeling of love sometimes can be accepted if that person has already married or ‘unavailable’. In my opinion, having a friend as a best friend just for the feeling of love is unacceptably but deniable. Furthermore, taking best friend (different gender) who has similar status would be the best. Yet, having such feeling of love is not totally wrong and the history has proved best friend can be lover, later married. What has been discussed before, having different gender as best friend could create such feeling of love, I think that could be disadvantage for those whom are already ‘unavailable’. Again, my opinion the most important thing to avoid when having different gender as best friend are the feeling of ‘overcare’ because it could lead to other feeling and one more, we must cater to what has syariah prescribed in the relationship. Even though the term of best friend, many always misinterpreted and going overboard.

In conclusion, it is the best to have one each from different gender as best friend but the feeling of independent and the sincerity towards the friendship are crucial to cater. Different gender best friend can create more diversity in relationship. The sense of compliment act as the best accessory in any relationship. But again if the feeling of sincerity and independent (no feeling of love) fail to cater, having same gender is the best.

Finally,the grief of being torture finally finish. Can’t believe it is already a month i manage to succumb to the grief.I’m already back to my all new me,felicitaciones.I’m finally feel better,thanks to all my friends especially that i met on my birthday,really change me and turn me to the new page of life. Life is simple to go through but it’s hard to navigate the journey. I’m so realize the king of all evil is the EGO!

Living in five weeks with the unsolved issues real put me down. The issues still don’t want to move away from my life. I don’t know why. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? What I want in my life actually? What? What? What? What I expect? WHAT? The unresolved questions that seem playing in my head that reluctantly wants to move away.

I’ve never been happy since this problem hit me. Since that day, I always show the bright side of me, keeping away all the problems within myself. So that all people around me wouldn’t notice it, happily mingling with me. I just want to be happy, but why this issue hit me so much that I think I want to surrender, I’m so tired of coping. So much effort has been put to channel these problems to the correct path. But again I cannot see the brighter side of the problems to fade away.

Every weekend I try to make full of it, just to make myself happy again but how much I’ve  tried, it seem the same thing, same situation, same state of unhappiness. Why it’s so hard? What else I should do, I’m logging for answer. I just want to be happy, to be the old me who always has the greatest smile to everybody, who always motivate people, who never give up and never lost hope on any circumstances.

It’s not easy for me to trust people.Since I’ve been betrayed by my old good friends,I never trust friends anymore. But once I gain the feeling of trusting friends back, I’ve been betrayed again. From now on I will never trust anaybody except me!I’ll stick to this pharse so long I can hold it. Goodbye my M friend,I’m no longer your place of happniness and loneliness. You has lost something that you would regret when you realise it. People never appreciate what is in front of them, when it lost,they remorse of not taking the moment to appreciate it.

Ya Allah, I redha all the tests that you’ve put in me and I know You wouldn’t give me this test if I can’t cope it.

The biggest impacts of four weeks of my life. The biggest life emotion threatening that never ever been occurred in my life. The life changing when one event substitute the others. Used to be positive, optimist and emotionally strong. But the event that we never expect that it will occur in our life come to the reality that we always take that for granted. What i can learn from this what so-called the journey of life is "if you have something that you cherish the most,don’t feel too comfortable with it as when you lost it, you will not be someone that you are suppose to be". Always be prepare and put ourselves all the time in the stanby mode. Beware the trust that we put on people,even our best friends. We never know when the table turn around, you get stuck with it then suffocate in your own room.

Effort by effort has been put to put away this challenge in my life,all that i’ve read, learn and impart has been applied but it seem the challenges won’t go away that easy. To fight it with empty arm is just the mistake that i should anticipate it in the first place. I have to get on track and grab back my old life that i used to live in. How hard it is or will it be, the decision that need to be made is the consclusion that i’m looking for.